The Highly Evolved, Anatomically Modern Male
by dharmamonkey
Summary: A double-shot inspired by a writing prompt on LJ. B&B share a bit of squinty pillow-talk about a journal article comparing "endurance" of human males vs non-human primates & lower mammals.
1. Part 1: The Article

**A/N: **Per the "penile spine" prompt on the LJ "Sextember" fictathalon:

"Brennan discusses the following theory with Booth: 'The loss of penile spines may have allowed our ancient ancestors to copulate for longer, a development thought to have nurtured monogamous couples and paved the way for more complex social structures.' Bonus points for this conversation taking place in bed." (In bed? They double-dared me. I can do that. LOL!)

Squinty porn scene w/B&B all horned up. Needless to say, **Very M-rated.** All you sensitive types and minors, move along, there's nothing to see here. The rest of you, fasten your seatbelts.

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><p>Booth walked into the bedroom and found Brennan already dressed for bed in a light blue nightgown with a delicate lace trim. She lay in bed, her back propped up against a pillow, a magazine in her lap.<p>

"Don't tell me you're reading about dead things again, Bones," he said, remembering the last time he came home late, only to find her similarly situated—sexily dressed for bed, a copy of the _Journal of Forensic Science _in her lap.

"No, Booth," she replied, rolling her eyes. "I already finished reading last month's issue of the _Journal of Forensic Science, _and since it's a bimonthly periodical, the next issue doesn't come out for another month. So—no." Their eyes met and she couldn't help but smirk. "Besides, I acquiesced to your demand that I not read anything in bed dealing with putrefaction, decomposition, dismemberment, primary versus secondary burial, or any other subjects associated in any way with corpses, death or its consequences."

"_Demand?_" Booth laughed as he loosened his tie. "You make it sound like I made an ultimatum," he said, sliding his tie out from under his collar and draping over the tie valet next to his dresser. "It was more of a suggestion. I just—it's just a little—well, unromantic—for you to lay in our bed, where we make love and sleep every night, reading about—well, you know—dead things." He scrunched his nose as he said _dead things. _"Our bed is a place to celebrate love, and life, not—"

"I get it, Booth," she said, exasperation in her voice. "I already conceded your point. But, in any event, I'm not reading about dead things," she said with a wry grin, which made Booth worry a little. "I'm actually reading about living things, which should make you very happy, Booth."

"Dare I ask what you _are _reading?" he inquired, injecting a measure of feigned trepidation into his voice as he smiled into his shirt as he began to unbutton it.

"_Evolutionary Psychology_," she said, holding up the journal for him to see. "It's peer-reviewed," she noted, as if that meant anything to Booth. She watched him shrug out of his starched white dress shirt and, gazing admiringly at his muscular chest, flat stomach, and well-defined deltoid, trapezius and bicep muscles, felt a warm stirring between her legs.

"You're killing me here, Bones," he said, it being his turn to roll his eyes. "I'm trying to make conversation here, and you're—wait." He cocked his head and looked at her as he unfastened his Cocky belt buckle. "You're reading a journal on _psychology? _You hate psychology, even more than I do."

"Well," she said with a smirk, "that's generally true. But if there's one branch of psychology that has any scientific merit, it's evolutionary psychology, because—while it still faces serious methodological problems from the standpoint that many of its theories are difficult if not impossible to test using approved scientific methods—it nonetheless seeks to bridge the conceptual and methodological gap between the soft sciences of sociology and psychology—"

"Hey!" Booth cried. "Don't knock sociology. What do you think I got my degree in, Bones?"

"I know exactly what your college degree is in, Agent Booth," she sneered, sticking her tongue out at him. "As I was saying—evolutionary psychology seeks to bridge the gap between the soft social sciences and the hard sciences: biology, physiology, biochemistry, biophysics, physical anthropology, and so on."

Booth shrugged and removed his belt, watching Brennan's reaction out of the corner of his eye as he unbuttoned his pants and lowered his fly with a clearly audible _zip _sound. He could tell by the twinkle in her green eyes that she was getting aroused. Her eyes seemed to darken as her pupils dilated, and the knowledge of her growing arousal caused a tingle to roll down his spine and a distinct tugging feeling below his navel.

"Did you miss me today?" he asked with a toothy grin as he stepped out of his trousers and peeled off his red, navy and yellow striped socks, tossing all of them unceremoniously into his laundry hamper in the corner of the room.

Brennan's eyes narrowed as she lowered the magazine and observed a distinct tenting in the front of his Phillies boxers. "Did you miss _me_?" she retorted, licking her lips in anticipation of freeing him from the constraints of his underwear.

"Maybe," Booth replied as noncommittally as possible as he climbed into bed and sat next to her, leaning over to see what article she was reading. His eyes scanned the page and fell on the abstract at the top of the article on the left-hand page. "Penile spines?" he groaned. "You've got to be kidding me..."

"Not at all, Booth," she said, unable to maintain a deadpan voice as she observed his very obvious and unfailingly impressive erection out of the corner of her eye. She swallowed, trying to hold herself together but was finding it increasingly difficult to do so.

"Sounds really kinky, Bones," he said, a certain huskiness in his voice. "Or painful—I'm not sure which."

"It's actually quite the opposite, Booth," she said, clearing her throat as she lowered the journal to her lap. Turning her head towards him, she tried to focus on his face—not on his deliciously lickable chest, not on his enticingly strokable abs, and for damn sure not on his smooth, hard cock, which was prominently on display where his erection strained the fabric, opening up the flap in the front of his boxers.

He looked up from the article and into her eyes, and he felt his cock twitch in response to the look in her eyes. "_Uh-huh_," he whispered, leaning in close to her and brushing his lips ever so softly across the helix of her ear.

She pulled away slightly, a smile breaking across her face as she felt his hot breath in her ear. "This article, along with another one published in the _Journal of Behavioral Genetics_, theorizes that the serial monogamy that typifies the sexual behavior of humans is in fact a result of the deletion of certain genes that, in most other mammals, causes certain spiny structures on the penis which have the affect during intercourse of causing the male to orgasm very quickly."

"So they don't last?" he asked, teasing her earlobe with the tip of his tongue.

She moaned softly. "That's right," she said softly as a wave of desire crackled through her. She could feel herself getting wetter with every one of his touches. "Quick orgasm is advantageous in species that are selected for male sexual promiscuity. But humans —anatomically modern humans, _homo sapiens—_lack the series of genes that are coded for penile spines."

"Our dicks are smooth," he growled, placing his lips just below her earlobe and delivering a wet, sucking kiss. "Smooth and hard, right?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Smooth and hard—and not spiny." She took a deep breath and looked back to her magazine, doing everything she could not to reach over and fist his erect, smooth and most definitively non-spiny penis. The characters on the page seemed to blur as she felt the tip of his tongue working down from her jaw to the base of her neck. "The spiny structures on the chimpanzee penises in the study are theorized to enhance the sexual pleasure experienced by the male—" He kissed her, sucking at her flesh then nipping gently before releasing his lips, and he smiled at the light red mark he had left on her creamy white skin. "These structures aren't rigid enough to cause injury to the female, but rather are hairlike and sensitive..."

"Dick whiskers," Booth said with a chuckle, his breath vibrating against the now-flushed skin of her throat.

"Exactly," she said, smiling at his turn of phrase as well as at the sensation of his laughter against her skin. "Without these structures, it is theorized that human sexual intercourse is less arousing, and so—"

"So we last longer?" he asked, turning his body towards her and dragging his calloused index finger across her collarbone. "We, anatomically modern human males, that is," he clarified, chuckling again as his mouth descended upon the delicate notch at the base of her throat.

"Yes," she said breathlessly, turning her head slightly to see that he had pulled the flap in the front of his boxers aside to reveal his thick, engorged cock, holding the base of it in his hand as if to brandish it for her to inspect.

Booth grinned lasciviously as he watched her eyes move along his length from the base to the tip. "Would you like to test that theory, Dr. Brennan?" he asked, moaning softly as he laid another hard, sucking kiss where her neck and shoulder met. "That an anatomically modern human male can last?"

"I'm not sure," she whispered, her mouth slightly agape in anticipation.

"You're _not sure?_" he growled as he reached down with one hand and pulled his boxers off his hips, wriggling out of them and tossing them to the side. "You're...not...sure?" he said again, straddling her and pulling up the bottom hem of her nightgown, only to see that she had no panties on. He brushed his finger across her short brown curls and felt a dampness that made his whole body twitch with anticipation. "Admit it—you want me to prove to you how long I can last," he said huskily.

She shook her head slowly, struggling to form words. "I—I don't know if I want you to take it slow."

"You want me to fuck you like a—"

"Yes," she said. "Like a lower primate," she explained, a wry grin on her face.

"Hard and fast?"

"You have all night to show me how highly evolved you are," she said. "But right now, well, now I want it—"

He smiled and nodded, nipping the tender flesh at the top of her breast.

"Primitive?"

"Yes."

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	2. Part 2:  The Bad Touch

_**A/N: By popular demand**, this is part two of what was previously a **o**ne-shot per the "penile spine" prompt on the LJ "Sextember" ficathon. (Chapter 2's title taken from the Bloodhound Gang song "Bad Touch" - worth a visit on YouTube to hear the song and watch the hilarious video.)_

_**Prompt: **"Brennan discusses the following theory with Booth: 'The loss of penile spines may have allowed our ancient ancestors to copulate for longer, a development thought to have nurtured monogamous couples and paved the way for more complex social structures.' Bonus points for this conversation taking place in bed." (LOL!)_

_Now that B&B have gotten all hot, bothered and horned up in Chapter 1 after Brennan's explanation of the academic journal articles about penile spines (eww...), it's time for Booth to cast aside his inherent sense of romance and give Bones what she desperately seeks. Needless to say, this is **v****ery M-rated.** All you sensitive types and minors, move along, there's nothing to see here. The rest of you, fasten your seatbelts._

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><p>"You have all night to show me how highly evolved you are," she said. "But right now, well, now I want it—"<p>

He smiled and nodded, nipping the tender flesh at the top of her breast.

"_Primitive?_"

"Yes."

Booth crinkled his brow and narrowed his eyes, drilling Brennan with a look that they had exchanged many times before—a silent salvo that demanded, _are you sure?—_and he saw her nod slightly as she nibbled her lower lip. He knew that she was offering him what she never had given anyone before: a complete abdication of control, the recognition of it washing over him like a rogue wave, knocking him off-balance. As the significance of the moment faded, his desire surged and he felt a nearly painful tug of arousal behind his navel, engulfing his mind with smoldering want as he observed the sensation of being torn between two opposite poles, each of them seeking to pull him away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He reached out and took her jaw firmly into his large hand, stroking her cheekbone with his calloused thumb as he leaned in and covered her mouth with his, sliding his tongue across her lips as he moaned softly. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest as he pulled his lips away and stood up.

"Get up," he growled, snatching the journal from her hands and throwing it across the room where it fell uselessly onto the hardwood floor. She lifted her head in surprise and stared, wide-eyed in her confusion.

"What?" she whispered.

"Stand up," he grunted, grabbing her arm, his chest heaving. A look of vulnerability crossed her face and she blinked in silent acknowledgment as she allowed him to pull her from the bed.

As soon as her feet hit the floor, he grasped her by the shoulders and turned her around and shoved her roughly towards the wall.

"Booth," she said quietly, her voice uncertain but empty of protest. He reached down and fisted the bottom hem of her lace-trimmed chemise. His chocolate brown eyes burned black and his lower jaw jutted out slightly, the muscles of his jaw and temple pulsing in tension. He pressed his body into hers, crushing her against the plaster wall, and she felt his erection against her thigh as he yanked her nightgown up. She trembled at the intensity of his gaze and the rawness of his movements, but she calmly raised her arms as he pulled the chemise over her head and let it fall into a crumple on the floor at their feet.

"Turn around," he hissed, not giving her a chance to comply as he curled his fingers around her hip with one of his hands, the other hand pressing between her shoulder blades he twirled her around and slammed her into the wall.

She had never seen him this way, and it both thrilled and terrified her, and she thought about how she had given him license to let go of all of his inhibitions, the controls he maintained to keep in check the darkness she knew he feared inside of himself—the rage, the violence, the guilt and the erosive self-doubt that he kept carefully cloaked behind the laughter, the smirks and cocky swagger that was his personal calling card.

The reality of the situation flashed through her as she felt her breasts crushed against the puckered texture of the plaster wall. She gasped as she felt his hand brush across the cleft of her bottom and between her legs, his fingers dragging roughly between her damp folds. He grunted but said nothing as he pulled his hand away, smearing her moisture against the skin of her hip as he grabbed her, pulling her hips towards him with another grunt. She felt herself weaken at the knees as he stroked his thick, rigid cock between her asscheeks.

Her heartbeat pounded in her head and she sighed with relief when she felt his knob stroke lower, then press into the wet folds between her legs. He paused briefly, his hot breath searing the delicate skin at the base of her neck, then rammed himself into her, pulling out partway before slamming back into her. She felt his balls smack against her as he bottomed out, then withdrew again before pounding into her again.

"Booth," she sighed, his only response a growl that she could tell escaped between his clenched teeth, though she could not see his face.

With each thrust, he slammed her into the wall, and despite her own strength, she had to turn her head to the side to keep from bruising her face against the wall. His movements were so raw, so rough, and his arousal so intense she felt herself stretched in a way she had never experienced before. Her heart raced as she tried to absorb the power of his movements, her arms acting as springs as she did all she could to keep from being crushed against the wall with each ramming thrust.

"Ohh—" she moaned.

He groaned hoarsely as she felt him harden and lengthen inside of her.

"God—"

Another clenched-teeth grunt escaped him as he began moving faster and faster.

"Oh my God—"

With an angry-sounding growl, he changed the angle of his movements, bending his knees and thrusting upward as his pace accelerated.

"I'm going to—oh my God, Booth, I'm going—_aaaannghhh..."_

She felt his muscles tighten and he emptied himself into her with a shouting grunt. For several long moments, they stood there—she because she could barely feel her own legs, and he because he still held her hips in a bruising grasp as the last drops of his orgasm pulsed into her.

"Oh my God," she whispered.

"I know," he said softly, his breath tickling her ear as he slipped out of her.

"Whoa," she sighed, too stunned and lightheaded to speak more than monosyllables. "That was so—"

"_Shhhh,_" he hushed her as he placed soft, butterfly-light kisses along the hairline at the back of her neck, breathing in the swirling scent of her sweat and her coconut shampoo as his nose brushed against her ponytail. "_Shhhh..."_

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><p>Booth lay on his side, his head propped in his hand as he stroked his index finger along the square line of her jaw and smiled at the wonder of her—of them, really.<p>

"You know," he said quietly. "For all the animalistic intensity of it, it still wasn't as primitive as—" He chuckled at the phrase she had used. "You know, lower primates."

She opened her eyes and squared him with a skeptical look. "Why do you say that?" she asked, leaning her cheek against his hand.

He raised his eyebrow and shook his head gently. "Because, Bones, no matter how fast or slow, how hard or soft, rough or gentle—it'll always be about more than squirting sperm."

She laughed. "True," she agreed, unable to muster a more solemn response. "Squirting sperm?" she repeated with a giggle.

"But it was still pretty awesome," he laughed.

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><p><em><strong>This might just be the naughtiest thing I've ever written.<strong>_

_Like it? Love it? Hate it?_

_Please tell me what you think._  
><em>Good, bad or indifferent, I want your reviews.<em>  
><em>Please, <em>_**please**__, __**PLEASE **__review!_

_Thanks!_


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